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Love and Light from HEALING Creek
Friday April 18, 2008
We looked forward to Rocky and Bullwinkle
when we were kids.
I can still hear their voices!
Rocky: (recognizing Boris's voice)
That voice. Where have I heard that voice before?
Bullwinkle: In about 365 other episodes. But I don't know who it is either.
Rocky: Bullwinkle, it says here that for you to inherit the fortune, you have to spend the weekend in the ancestral home; Abominable Manor.
Bullwinkle: That's no problem. I've been living in an abominable manner all my life.
Rocky: Bullwinkle, do you know what an A-Bomb is?
Bullwinkle: Sure, a bomb is what some people call our show.
Rocky: I don't think that's very funny.
Bullwinkle: Neither do they apparently
Natasha: Boris, how are we going to steal car from moose and squirrel?
Boris: Easy, we are going into the used car business.
Natasha: On purpose?
Bullwinkle: But here, cleverly disguised as a bomb, is a bomb.
[repeated line]
Rocket J. Squirrel: And now, here to tell you everything about anything is Mr. Know-It-All.
[repeated line]
Rocky: OK, then, thank you, Mr. Know-It-All.
Boris Badenov: You busy-bodies have busied your last body.
Cloyd: On the moon we always carry a spare heart.
Bullwinkle: Must be nice come Valentine's Day.
[repeated lines]
Rocky: And now...
Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat.
[repeated line]
Boris Badenov: Shut up your mouth.
Old woman: I'm not really a wicked fairy. I'm just wicked.
[repeated line]
Mr. Peabody: I smell foul play, Sherman.
The Announcer: Well, you're just in time for what might be a very unhappy ending.
[repeated line]
Dudley Do-Right: Stop, Snidely Whiplash, in the name of the law.
[repeated line]
Rocky: Hokey smoke.
[lead-in to many commercials]
Rocky: Look, Bulliwinkle, a message in a bottle.
Bullwinkle: Fan mail from a flounder?
Rocky: This is what I really call a message.
Rocky: And now, here's something we hope you'll really like.
[Rocky and Bullwinkle have brought an old model ship to an antique dealer]
Rocky: Bullwinkle, this ship is covered in rubies and look what's written on the side! O-Mar Khay-yam. Bullwinkle, do you know what this is?
Bullwinkle: Well, if you're waiting on me to say it, I won't.
Antique Dealer: Me neither.
Rocky: OK, then this must be
[pause]
Rocky: "The Ruby Yacht of Omar Khayyam".
Bullwinkle and Antique Dealer: OOOOH!
Bullwinkle: [explaining the components of a stereo system]
This is the amplifier, which amplifies the sound. And this is the preamplifier, which, of course, amplifies the pree.
Bullwinkle: You just leave it to my pal Rock. He's the brains of the outfit.
General: And what does that make you?
Bullwinkle: What else? The executive.
Boris Badenov: Phooey! Foiled again!
Natasha Fatale: Don't you mean, "Curses! Foiled again!"?
Boris Badenov: Please, Natasha. This is kiddie show.
[Bullwinkle has been captured by government agents]
Rocky: Hey, what's the meaning of this?
Agent: Military intelligence. That phrase mean anything to you?
Rocky: It sounds like a contradiction of terms.
Boris Badenov: Ah, it good to be back on campus.
Natasha Fatale: Boris, you went to college? Penn State?
Boris Badenov: No, state pen.
Rocky: For all of you who want to be tigers in the field of journalism, here's Mr. Know-It-All.
Bullwinkle: Hello, copycats.
Bullwinkle: Today's lesson is how to be a lion tamer and pick up a little scratch ... on the side ... of your head.
Mr. Hector Peabody: Sherman, that is your 1,000th fortune cookie. Do you want to spoil your dinner?
Rocky: It's Bullwinkle!
Captain Peter "Wrongway" Peachfuzz: Or a figment of somebody's imagination.
Rocky: Figure of who's imagination?
Bullwinkle: Who you calling a Fig Newton?
Bullwinkle: Eenie meenie chili beanie, the spirits are about to speak.
Bullwinkle: [pointing to Florida on a map]
Here it is: Frostbite Falls, Minnesota.
Rocket J. Squirrel: Bullwinkle, that's Florida!
Bullwinkle: Well, if they keep adding new states all the time, how can you expect me to keep up?
[an incident causes all the main characters to become lost at sea. There is nobody left on the screen]
Fish #1: There's something you don't see every day.
Fish #2: What's that?
Fish #1: A TV show where all they show you is a picture of rocks.
Fish #2: Well, c'mon. It *is* called "The Rocky Show".
Bullwinkle: I'd like to apply for a job as an usher?
Boris: What experience have you had?
Bullwinkle: I've been in the dark for most of my life.
Dudley Do-Right: Curses! Foiled again!
Snidely Whiplash: Hey! That's *my* line!
Rocky: Bullwinkle, did you forget the plot again?
Bullwinkle: In a word, you said it.
Rocky: That's three words.
Bullwinkle: I'm a heavy tipper.
Rocky: A thousand dollars to get to Frostbite Falls?
Bullwinkle: You can buy the place for eight dollars cash.
[repeated line]
Bullwinkle: Jumping G. Horsefat!
Rocky: Are you getting sea sick, Bullwinkle?
Bullwinkle: No, I always turn green this time of year.
Rocky: Well if you think this is bad?
Bullwinkle: Yeah.
Rocky: Just wait till we cast off.
Narrator: Will Bullwinkle be able to extricate himself?
Bullwinkle: I will just as soon as I get these ropes off.
Bullwinkle: Twenty dollars?!? That's antihistamine money!
Rocky: Antihistamine money?
Bullwinkle: Yes. It's not to be sneezed at. Get it? Not to be sneezed at?
Rocky: I get it.
Bullwinkle: Thousands won't.
Cartoon Trivia Quiz ...
1. Who said - Yabba-dabba-doo!
2. Who said - What's up Doc?
3. Who said - Exit. Stage left.
4. Who said - I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
5. Who said - I'm strongs to the finich ... 'cause I eats me spinach ...
6. Who was the blue dog with the straw hat and bow tie?
7. Who ordered all his gadgets from The ACME Corporation?
8. Who said - Great horney toads!
9. Who said - I'll get you, you wascley wabbit
10. Who said - Rasa, frasa, rasafrasa!
11. Who said - Thufferin Thucatash!
12. Who said - Zoikes!
13. Who said - I'm smarter than the average bear.
14. Who came to save the day?
15. Who said - Good grief?
Answers are in the comment section. Have fun!
Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-at's all folks!!!
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Thursday April 17, 2008
 
Whether Carol Burnette was "bumping up the lights"; acting out a sketch with Harvey Korman, Tim Conway or Vickie Lawrence; or belting out a Tarzan yell; you just knew that you knew that you knew you were going to laugh hard for the next hour!
Carol Burnett was born in San Antonio, Texas in 1933 to alcoholic parents. She and her younger sister, Chrissy, moved to a Hollywood boarding house with their grandmother to escape a volatile home life.
Blessed with a talent for the imaginary, Burnett graduated from Hollywood High School and then attended UCLA, working her way through bit parts on television. Her aspirations to act were discouraged by her mother, who thought she could write. Carol’s mother died before seeing her debut.
In the 1950s, Burnett was noticed for a comic novelty song and appeared on the Paul Winchell Show in 1955. She also appeared in a short-lived sitcom with Buddy Hackett and as a regular on the game show, Pantomime Quiz. Burnett married Don Saroyan in 1955, but the marriage only lasted seven years and produced no children.
Carol’s first success came in 1959 when she appeared on Broadway in the musical “Once Upon a Mattress.” She also became a regular on The Garry Moore Show that same year and continued until 1962. She won an Emmy in 1962 for her performance on the show for portraying a number of characters, including the cleaning woman that would become her alter-ego. This led to her performing as a headliner with Julie Andrews at Carnegie Hall.
In 1963, Carol wed Joe Hamilton, a TV producer and divorced father of eight. Carol and Joe had three daughters together before divorcing in 1984.
Comedienne Lucille Ball took an interest in Burnett and had her as a guest on The Lucy show several times before offering her a sitcom produced by Desilu. Burnett declined, deciding on a variety show instead. So, in 1967 the Carol Burnett Show debuted and was a huge success.
The Carol Burnett Show included cast members Tim Conway, Harvey Korman, Lyle Waggoner and Vicki Lawrence. It ran for 11 years, garnered 22 Emmy Awards and numerous additional Emmy nominations every year of its run. The sketches were comical and memorable, including spoofs of Went with the Wind and As the Stomach Turns. One, Mama’s Family, was eventually spun off as a series for Lawrence.
The variety show kicked off many Carol Burnett trademarks, including her famous Tarzan yell, performed during many shows, and the closing of the show with an ear tug – a message to her grandmother that she was doing fine. Her grandmother died during the show’s run.
Carol starred in other works while doing the variety show, including Pete ‘n’ Tillie in 1972. She also appeared in Friendly Fire, Life of the Party: The Story of Beatrice, The Four Seasons, Annie, and Noises Off.
Burnett also kept her contact with theatre appearing in I Do, I Do! with Rock Hudson and in Stephen Sondheim’s Follies. She also continued her television work, by guest starring in Mama’s Family and Mad About You. She has most recently appeared in Desperate Housewives.
In 2001, Burnett married Brian Miller, a drummer in the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra who is twenty-five years her junior. In 2002, she lost her daughter Carrie to lung and brain cancer at the age of 38. Burnett and Carrie had collaborated on the play Hollywood Arms, based on Burnett’s memoir, One More Time. Mother and Daughter also played mother and daughter in an episode of Touched By An Angel.
In 1998, Burnett served as Grand Marshall of the Rose Parade; was a recipient of the 2003 Kennedy Center Honors; received the Medal of Freedom from President Bush in 2005 and was the subject of an American Masters profile in 2007.
~ Carol Burnetts
Carol Burnette Quotes
This has been one of the best times of my life,
to meet you and spend time
in the town my grandmother told me so much about.
People invite me to dinner not because I cook,
but because I like to clean up.
I get immediate gratification from Windex. Yes, I do windows.
It will be fun. I just think it's so campy.
But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life.
I didn't even ask to be famous.
All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.
Comedy is tragedy plus time.
When someone who is known for being comedic does something straight,
it's always "a big breakthrough" or a "radical departure."
Why is it no one ever says that if a straight actor does comedy?
Are they presuming comedy is easier?
Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away.
Everything goes away.
I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up.
I wish my grandmother had done the same.
I wanted my girls to know me.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip
and forcing it over your head.
It's also selfish because it makes you feel good
when you help others.
I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers.
That's why we're here, after all, to help others.
Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me
My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week,
double features, second run.
Well, I don't know how astute I am,
but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.
We don't stop going to school when we graduate.
Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.
When you have a dream,
you've got to grab it and never let go.
Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.
Because nobody goes through life without a scar.
You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk.
It helps to know that you can survive it.
That's an education in itself
I have always grown from my problems and challenges,
from the things that don't work out,
that's when I've really learned.
I think we're here for each other.
I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
The funniest scene in comedy - Carol playing Scarlett O'Hara
in a DRAPED dress designed by Bob Mackie
We used to hoot out loud
when Carol would play the silent movie star
with her eyes WIDE open
There was a little bit of all of us in the washer woman
who would dream ...
Tim Conway Quotes
As a kid I was short and only weighed 95 pounds.
And though I was active in a lot of Sports
and got along with most of the guys,
I think I used comedy as a defense mechanism.
You know making someone laugh is a much better way
to solve a problem than by using your fists.
Carol [Burnett] is a wonderful, giving person;
she had a personal interest in everyone around the show,
including the stagehands and the ushers.
And then we didn't do a lot of rehearsal,
so the material stayed fresh.
It was really a lot like doing a live show.
Both Harvey [Korman] and I like to keep in touch
with Carol [Burnett].
We try to see her at least once a month,
because she's got a drive-Up ATM window at her house.
And we like to go and pick up some cash.
Don Knotts was a really big influence,
especially on the Steve Allen Show.
I mean, look at the guy, his entire life is in his face.
I don't watch a lot of TV anymore.
A lot of it isn't the kind of thing you can feel comfortable
with watching with your kids.
And I still feel that way even though,
now, my kids are in their 30s.
I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart.
I also sew.
I love doing my own material.
I've never really taken anything very seriously.
I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.
Harvey Korman Quotes
Funny is when you're serious.
I got canceled in the middle of making the pilot.
You have to have a certain persona to be a star,
you know,
and I don't have that.
I'm a banana.
So I've got a reputation for being the straight man,
and I've worked with the best.
Although in Abbott and Costello, and straight man was first.
That's a very interesting concept.
And I'll tell you somebody else who was a straight man
and considers himself a straight man and
describes himself as one, Cary Grant.
Don't - those writers used to love us.
They would write these little plays,
and we would take care of the comedy.
It really seldom was joke jokes.
FROM THE CAROL BURNETTE SHOW ...
Carol Burnett can do it all. She sings and dances, she does comedy and drama. She endures.
The long running Carol Burnett show had some standard bits. Carol and the guest star would come out first and answer audience questions.
Then there would be the marvelous sketches. Who can forget Carol Burnett and Harvey Korman sitting on the porch in their rocking chairs wondering what went wrong in life. Or Carol and Harvey bickering with and about their daughter played by Carol Lawrence.
They made fun of TV and movies. My favorite sketch was the "Gone With the Wind" spoof where Carol comes downstairs with a drapery rod across her shoulders and drapes hanging from them. Another popular one was "As the Stomach Turns," a parody of a soap opera.
Carol Burnett is perhaps best remembered however, ending the show by tugging on her ear.
Carol Bradford:
When we were first married you wanted my meatloaf five nights a week.
Roger Bradford:
When we were first married there were a lot of things I wanted five nights a week.
as Thelma "Mama" Harper: [Vicki improvises a line that was not scripted]
You ain't right in the head, Eunice. I think somebody blew your pilot light out!
as Eunice Harper: [Carol is caught off guard and quickly turns away trying to compose herself and not fall out of character]
That's a *new* one, Mama!
as Thelma "Mama" Harper: [without missing a beat]
Well, you just wait, there's more!
as Eunice Harper: [clasping her hands over her face to hide her laughter]
Oh, no!
as Thelma "Mama" Harper:
You've got splinters in the windmills of your mind!
Ed: [playing the game sorry and Eunice is losing]
Slliiiiiide!
Eunice: Oh, will you shut up!
Housekeeper: [After the Cunningham's have entered a scary castle]
Go away. For three hundred years, no strange person has been inside this castle.
Mrs. Cunningham: You wanna bet?
Hallaba: You're going to be bitten by a verevolf.
Mrs. Cunningham: A verevolf?
[Screams]
Hallaba: Yes. Bevare the volfman will bite you tonight. Oy, are you gonna get it.
Mrs. Cunningham: Oh, no! Is a verevolf bite painful?
Hallaba: It's about the same as the bite from a wampire.
Reginald: [To Gwendolyn]
Now listen to me, you little fool. As far as everyone is concerned, father's death was purely...
Ms. Marble: [Ms. Marble in the background] Murder!
Reginald: [Nervous] Murder? Murder, you say?
Ms. Marble: [Comes into the living room]
Murder, murder, murder. Bloody, bloody murder.
Gwendolyn: You mean to say our father was murdered?
Ms. Marble: No, I mean to say my girdle is killing me.
Reginald: Ms. Marble, I really must insist you stop snooping around. I simply will not tolerate a busybody.
Ms. Marble: Busybody? Busybody, you say? My body hasn't been busy in over 40 years.
Audience Member: How old are you now?
Vicki Lawrence: I dunno!
Harvey Korman: I’m 77, and I can still go to the bathroom by myself!
Tim Conway: The amazing thing is, he’s doing it right now!
Mama's Family was a spin off starring Carol Burnett as Eunice and Vickie Lawrence as Mama
Naomi: And just what is wrong with the way I dress?
Mama: Well, good Lord! If that blouse was any lower, it would be a skirt!
Mama: I'd be uncomfortable, too, if I were dressed in that get-up.
Naomi: Just what is wrong with my attire? I've always found this outfit very suitable for religious occasions.
Mama: That's 'cause you got to pray to God it stays up!
Naomi: Wait a minute now, I've told you repeatedly that this check stand is ten items or less.
Mama: Well, I know that, but look--I got bread, milk, fruit, meat and vegetables. That's five items.
Naomi: I know, but you got six kinds of vegetables here, and each one counts as an item.
Mama: Well I've also got a loaf of bread--you gonna count every slice?
Naomi: The point is, this is the express lane.
Mama: Well quit expressing yourself and start checking!
I really tried very hard to find scripts or snips of some of those wonderful skits ... I wish I could have found one of Mrs. Hwiggens ... or just one of Tim Conway cracking Harvey Korman up ... or the other way around.
Update: I did find two YouTube Videos ... They are in the comment section. I especially like the one with Tim Conway as the dentist. I'm still looking for Mrs. Hwiggins!
If you ever have a chance to watch an old video or catch a late night rerun or even a commemorative, stop what you're doing and take the time. You'll be so glad you had the time together ...
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Wednesday April 16, 2008
It was the time for cowboys and every kid dreamed of "the old west". Every little girl hoped she marry a man just like Hoppy, Roy, and Gene (Hopalong Cassidy, Roy Rogers, Gene Autry) someday and every little boy wished he was one of those cowboys.
I didn't know a kid who didn't ask for a palomino like Trigger (Roy Roger's horse) every Christmas, even though most of us knew we wouldn't get one ... it never hurt to ask.
My Dad was an auctioneer so he wore cowboy hats and boots. We knew our dad was a good guy so one of us kids asked him one day, "Dad, were you a sheriff in the old West?" The memory of it still makes me smile today.
COWBOY QUOTES
Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear,
or a fool from any direction.
Don't squat with your spurs on.
Don't judge people by their relatives.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
Talk slowly, think quickly.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life.
Then when you get older and think back,
you'll enjoy it a second time.
Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
It's better to be a has-been that a never-was.
The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm.
The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
If you find yourself in a hole,
the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.
It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with
watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence,
try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew;
your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.
Tellin' a man to git lost and makin' him do it
are two entirely different propositions.
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd,
take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.
Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person,
don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
When you're throwin' your weight around,
be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.
Always take a good look at what you're about to eat.
It's not so important to know what it is,
but it's sure crucial to know what it was.
The quickest way to double your money is to
fold it over and put it back into your pocket.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
ROY ROGERS - "King of the Cowboys"
- Born: 5 November 1911
- Birthplace: Cincinnati, Ohio
- Died: 6 July 1998 (heart failure)
- Best Known As: Star of TV's Roy Rogers Show
Name at birth: Leonard Slye
Roy Rogers was called the "King of the Cowboys" during his long career as a folksy singing hero of movies and TV. He was an original member of the cowboy singing group The Sons of the Pioneers, and in 1937 he signed on with Republic Pictures, replacing their departing star Gene Autry. He starred in more than 80 westerns with titles like The Arizona Kid (1939) and In Old Cheyenne (1941). He often co-starred with cowgirl Dale Evans, whom he married in 1947. Rogers's famous horse was Trigger, a Palomino stallion with flowing white mane who became a favorite with Rogers's fans. In the 1950s Rogers moved into TV with the The Roy Rogers Show. His theme song with Dale Evans was the gentle and cheery "Happy Trails to You."
Rogers was elected to the Country Music Hall of Fame twice, as an individual in 1988 and with the Sons of the Pioneers in 1980... His is no relation to the blues guitarist Roy Rogers... It's true: after Trigger's death, the horse was mounted and put on display at the Roy Rogers Museum in Victorville, California. The museum (and Trigger) moved to Branson, Missouri in 2003... Rogers lent his name to the Marriott Corporation for the successful Roy Rogers chain of fast food restaurants; the first outlet opened in 1968.
QUOTES:
We were so far back in the woods, they almost had to pipe in sunlight.
You couldn't beg, borrow, or steal a job in 1931, 1932, ...
It was really tough.
I did pretty good for a guy who never finished high school
and used to yodel at square dances.
People are always asking me why they don't make Westerns like they used to.
The world changed. Hollywood changed.
I think we've lost something, and we don't know how to get it back.
Today they're making pictures that I wouldn't want Trigger to see.
Give a lazy man a job, and he'll find a lazy way to do it.
We'd put some zip to it, add some character, some identity.
"They'll have to shoot me first to take my gun."
Cowboys weren't allowed to kiss girls in pictures,
so one time I gave Dale a little peck on the forehead
and we got a ton of letters to leave that mushy stuff out ...
So I had to kiss Trigger instead.
We make up most of our history around here, ... Codger.
When my time comes, just skin me and put me up there on Trigger,
just as though nothing had ever changed.
If I could teach the kids to identify and appreciate their natural environment,
then they will have a sense of place and care about Weston.
RIDER'S RULES by Roy Rogers
1. Be neat and clean.
2. Be courteous and polite.
3. Always obey your parents.
4. Protect the weak and help them.
5. Be brave but never take chances.
6. Study hard and learn all you can.
7. Be kind to animals and take care of them.
8. Eat all your food and never waste any.
9. Love God and go to Sunday school regularly.
10. Always respect our flag and our country.
Until we meet again, may the good Lord take a liking to you.
The epitaph on his gravestone:
The Cowboy's Prayer
Oh Lord, I reckon I'm not much just by myself.
I fail to do a lot of things I ought to do.
But Lord, when trails are steep and passes high,
Help me to ride it straight the whole way through.
And when in the falling dusk I get the final call,
I do not care how many flowers they send--
Above all else the happiest trail would be
For You to say to me, "Let's ride, My friend."
Amen
Roy Rogers
(Sunset Hills Memorial Park, Apple Valley, California)
DALE EVANS - "Queen of the West"
- Born: 31 October 1912
- Birthplace: Uvalde, Texas
- Died: 7 February 2001 (heart failure)
- Best Known As: Partner of singing cowboy Roy Rogers
Name at birth: Frances Octavia Smith
Dale Evans was a movie actress who starred with wholesome singing cowboy Roy Rogers in a series of 1940s westerns. The two were married in 1947 and from then on appeared as a popular pair in movies and on TV. Evans wrote the song that became their very popular theme: "Happy Trails to You." Evans's movie horse was Buttermilk, the counterpart to Rogers's horse Trigger.
Buttermilk, like Trigger, was mounted after death and put on display in the Roy Rogers - Dale Evans Museum. The museum was originally located in Victorville, California, but was moved to Branson, Missouri in 2003.
QUOTES:
Christmas, my child, is love in action.
Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas.
Every day we live is a priceless gift of God,
loaded with possibilities to learn something new,
to gain fresh insights into His great truths.
Who cares about the clouds when we're together?
Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather.
I lay in the bed at the hospital and said, 'let's see what I have left.'
And I could see, I could speak, I could think, I could read.
I simply tabulated my blessings, and that gave me a start.
Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
For More:
Happy Trails Forever™ - Honoring the *King of the Cowboys* & *Queen of the West*, Roy Rogers & Dale Evans - Home
Welcome to The Official Roy Rogers - Dale Evans Website
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Tuesday April 15, 2008
"If by chance some day you're not feeling well
and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done
and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart,
then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled."
~ Red Skelton, 1913 - 1997
Born in Vincennes, Indiana, Skelton was the son of a Hagenbeck-Wallace Circus clown named Joe who died in 1913 shortly before the birth of his son. Skelton himself got one of his earliest tastes of show business with the same circus as a teenager. Before that, however, he had been given the show business bug at age ten by entertainer Ed Wynn, who spotted him selling newspapers in front of the Pantheon Theatre, in Vincennes, Indiana, trying to help his family. After buying every newspaper in Skelton's stock, Wynn took the boy backstage and introduced him to every member of the show with which he was traveling. By age 15, Skelton had hit the road full-time as an entertainer, working everywhere from medicine shows and vaudeville to burlesque, showboats, minstrel shows and circuses.
While performing in Kansas City in 1930, Skelton met and married his first wife, Edna Stillwell. The couple divorced 13 years later, but they remained cordial enough that Stillwell remained one of his chief writers.
Skelton caught his big break in two media at once: radio and film. In 1938 he made his film debut for RKO Radio Pictures, in the supporting role of a camp counselor in Having Wonderful Time.
Skelton was hired by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer to lend comic relief to its Dr. Kildare medical dramas, but soon he was starring in comedy features (as inept radio detective "The Fox") and in Technicolor musicals. When Skelton signed his long-term contract with MGM in 1940, he insisted on a clause that permitted him to star in not only radio (which he had already done) but on television, which was still in its early years; studio chief Louis Mayer agreed to the terms, only to regret it years later when television became a serious threat to the motion picture industry.
Skelton was drafted in March 1944, and the popular series was discontinued June 06, 1944. Shipped overseas to serve with an Army entertainment unit as a private, Skelton led an exceptionally hectic military life: in addition to his own duties and responsibilities, he was always being summoned to entertain officers late at night. The perpetual motion and lack of rest resulted in a nervous breakdown in Italy. He spent three months in a hospital and was discharged in September 1945. He once joked about his military career, "I was the only celebrity who went in and came out a private."
In 1945, he married Georgia Davis; the couple had two children, Richard and Valentina. Georgia continued in her role as Red's manager until the 1960s. In 1951, NBC beckoned Skelton to bring his radio show to television. His characters worked even better on screen than on radio; television also provoked him to create his second best-remembered character, Freddie the Freeloader, a traditional tramp whose appearance suggested the elder brother of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus clown Emmett Kelly.
Many of Skelton's television shows have survived due to kinescopes, films, and videotapes and have been featured in recent years on PBS television stations. In addition, a number of excerpts from Skelton's television shows have been released on home video in both VHS and DVD formats.
Besides Freddie the Freeloader, Skelton's other television characters included Cauliflower McPugg, Clem Kaddiddlehopper, the Mean Widdle Boy, Sheriff Deadye, and San Fernando Red. Sometimes, during the sketches, Skelton would break up or cause his guest stars to laugh, not only on the live telecasts but the taped programs as well.
Skelton's weekly signoff -- "Good night and may God bless" -- became as familiar to television viewers as Edward R. Murrow's "Good night and good luck" or Walter Cronkite's "And that's the way it is".
Quite literally at the height of Skelton's popularity, his son was diagnosed with leukemia. In 1957 this was a virtual death sentence for any child. The illness and subsequent death of Richard Skelton at age 13 left Skelton unable to perform for much of the 1957-1958 television season. The show continued with guest hosts that included a very young Johnny Carson. CBS management was exceptionally understanding of Red's situation and no talk of cancellation was ever entertained by CBS president Paley. Skelton would seemingly turn on CBS and Paley after his show was cancelled by the network in 1970.
Red and Georgia divorced in 1971, and he remarried. In 1976, Georgia committed suicide by gunshot. Deeply affected by the loss of his ex-wife, Red would abstain from performing for the next decade and a half, finding solace only in painting clowns.
Skelton was inducted into the International Clown Hall of Fame in 1989, but as Kadiddlehopper showed, he was more than an interpretive clown. One of his best-known routines was "The Pledge of Allegiance," in which he explained the pledge word by word. Another Skelton staple, a pantomime of the crowd at a small town parade as the American flag passes by, reflected Skelton's essentially conservative, rural, Americana tastes.
Skelton frequently used the art of pantomime for his characters, using few props. He had a hat that he would use for his various bits, a floppy fedora that he would quickly mold into whatever shape was needed for the moment.
Skelton returned to live performance after his television days ended, in nightclubs and casinos and resorts, as well as performing such venues as Carnegie Hall. Many of those shows yielded segments that were edited into part of the Funny Faces video series on HBO's Standing Room Only. He also spent more time on his lifetime love of painting, usually of clown images, and his works began to attract prices over $80,000.
Red married for a third and last time in 1983 to the much younger Lothian Toland. She continues to maintain a website and business selling Skelton memorabilia and art prints.
Near the end of his life, Skelton said his daily routine included writing a short story a day. He collected the best stories in self-published chapbooks. He also composed music which he sold to background music services such as Muzak. Among his more notable compositions was his patriotic "Red's White and Blue March."
When he was presented with the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences' Governor's Award in 1986, he received a standing ovation. "I want to thank you for sitting down," Skelton said when the ovation subsided. "I thought you were pulling a CBS and walking out on me."
Red Skelton died in a hospital in Palm Springs, California of pneumonia on September 17, 1997. At the time of his death, he lived in Anza, California. He is buried in Forest Lawn Memorial Park Cemetery in Glendale, California.
In 2002 during the controversy over the phrase "under God," which had been added to U.S. Pledge of Allegiance in 1954, a recording of a monologue Skelton performed on his 1969 television show resurfaced. In the speech, he commented on the meaning of each phrase of the Pledge. At the end, he added: "Wouldn't it be a pity if someone said that is a prayer and that would be eliminated from schools too?" Given that Constitution advocates were arguing that the inclusion of "under God" in a pledge recited daily in U.S. public schools violated the First Amendment separation of church and state, Skelton suddenly regained popularity among religious conservatives who wanted the phrase to remain.
The Red Skelton Bridge spans the Wabash River and provides the highway link between Illinois and Indiana on U.S. Route 50, near his hometown of Vincennes, Indiana. The Red Skelton Performing Arts Center on the Vincennes University campus was constructed in 2006. A non-profit group in Skelton's hometown of Vincennes, began renovations in 2006 of the historic Vincennes Pantheon Theater, and the stage will be named in his honor. (from Wikipedia)
I live by this credo: Have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter had always brought me out of unhappy situations. Even in your darkest moment, you usually can find something to laugh about if you try hard enough.
God’s children and their happiness are my reasons for being.
There are three stages of life; youth, middle age and "Gee, you look good!"
I don’t want to be called ‘the greatest’ or ‘one of the greatest’; let other guys claim to be the best. I just want to be known as a clown because to me that’s the height of my profession. It means you can do everything-sing, dance, and above all, make people laugh.
Today’s comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They’re shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people.
Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.
REFLECTING ON HIS LIFE ...
I'd have avoided some of the pain if I could. Anyone would. But I wouldn't have missed knowing any of the people—even the ones whose leaving hurt most. In fact, the only thing I'm sorry about is that I didn't meet one particular guy, a clown named Joe Skelton. You know, he sure picked the right profession. I mean, a clown’s got it all. He never has to hold back: He can do as he pleases. The mouth and the eyes are painted on. So if you wanta cry, you can go right ahead. The make up won't smear. You'll still be smiling. . . ."
"All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner."
(from "1,911 Best Things Anybody Ever Said," )
PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE by Red Skelton
Red Skelton’s presentation of the Pledge of Allegiance recently on “The Red Skelton Hour” on the CBS Television Network produced thousands of letters and phone calls during the week following its broadcast. The public’s reaction was unanimous in congratulating the comedian for one of the season’s most memorable moments. A transcript of Skelton’s recital follows:
PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE
Getting back to schools, I remember a teacher I had. I only went through the 7th grade in school. I left home at ten years old because I was hungry. I'd work in the summer and go to school in the winter. I remember this one teacher. To me, he was the greatest teacher, a real sage of my time. He had such wisdom. We were all reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, and he walked over. Mr. Lasswell was his name…Mr. Lasswell. He said: (Red Becomes the Old Man) “I've been listening to you boys and girls recite the Pledge of Allegiance all semester and it seems as though it is becoming monotonous to you. If I may, may I recite it and try to explain to you the meaning of each word:
I – me, an individual, a committee of one.
PLEDGE – dedicate all of my worldly goods to give without self-pity.
ALLEGIANCE – my love and my devotion.
TO THE FLAG – our standard, Old Glory, a symbol of freedom.
Wherever she waves, there is respect because your loyalty has
given her a dignity that shouts freedom is everybody’s job.
OF THE UNITED – that means that we have all come together.
STATES OF AMERICA – individual communities that have united into 48 great states, 48 individual communities with pride and dignity and purpose, all divided with imaginary boundaries, yet united to a common purpose, and that’s love for country.
AND TO THE REPUBLIC – Republic…a state in which sovereign power is invested in representatives chosen by the people to govern. And government is the people and it’s from the people to the leaders, not from the leaders to the people.
FOR WHICH IT STANDS. ONE NATION – the nation…
UNDER GOD – meaning, so blessed by God.
INDIVISIBLE – incapable of being divided.
WITH LIBERTY – which is freedom and the right of power to live one’s own life without threats, or fear or some sort of retaliation.
AND JUSTICE – the principle or quality of dealing fairly with others.
FOR ALL. – which means, boys and girls, it’s as much your country as it is mine.
And now, boys and girls, let me hear you recite the Pledge of Allegiance.
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands. One nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
Since I was a small boy, two states have been added to our country and two words have been added to the Pledge of Allegiance – “under God.”
Wouldn't it be a pity if some one said, “That’s a prayer” and that would be eliminated from schools, too?
ABOUT FREDDY THE FREELOADER:
I get asked all the time; Where did you get the idea for Freddie the Freeloader, and who is Freddie really?
Well, I guess you might say that Freddie the Freeloader is a little bit of you, and a little bit of me, a little bit of all of us, you know.
He’s found out what love means. He knows the value of time. He knows that time is a glutton. We say we don't have time to do this or do that. There’s plenty of time. The trick is to apply it. The greatest disease in the world today is procrastination.
And Freddie knows about all these things. And so do you.
He doesn't ask anybody to provide for him, because it would be taken away from you. He doesn't ask for equal rights if it’s going to give up some of yours.
And he knows one thing ... that patriotism is more powerful than guns.
He’s nice to everybody because he was taught that man is made in God’s image. He’s never met God in person and the next fella just might be him.
I would say that Freddie is a little bit of all of us."
(from Red Skelton’s Funny Faces video)
I only come to life when there are people watching.
I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make ‘em laugh, they ain’t going to lock me up.
Our principles are the springs of our actions. Our actions, the springs of our happiness or misery. Too much care, therefore, cannot be taken in forming our principles.
His death was the first time that Ed Wynn ever made anyone sad.
No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose - to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
"Have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness
instead of sadness.
Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations."
The time has come to say good night,
My how time does fly.
We've had a laugh, perhaps a tear,
and now we hear good-bye.
I really hate to say good night,
for times like these are few.
I wish you love and happiness,
In everything you do.
The time has come to say good night,
I hope I've made a friend.
And so we'll say “May God bless you,"
Until we meet again
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Monday April 14, 2008
There's something about Mayberry and Mayberry folks that never leaves you. No matter where life takes you,
you always carry in your heart memories of old times and old friends.
~ Andy
Do a good day's work and act like somebody.
~ Andy
Well, Winken'll tell Blinken, Blinken'll tell Nod,
Nod'll tell Barney ... and Barney'll tell you.
~ Andy to Opie
If you eat any more you'll swell up so tight your freckles will fall off!!!
~ Andy
Bet you a quarter she forgot a brown paper sack
full of sandwiches.
I've never been on a trip before
that I didn't have to take a
brown paper sack full of sandwiches.
~ Andy
Andy's Southernisms:
(about Barney)
That boy is as nervous as a cat in room full of rocking chairs.
(about something frustrating)
It was like trying to sew buttons on custard pie.
(to Aunt Bee)
Aaain't Bea, you are the button in the Cap of Kindness!
Ain't we pickin our peaches 'fore they're fuzzed up good?
~ Andy
And that's also the biggest crock of nothing I've ever heard!!
~ Andy
Barney, I don't believe that dog could find his own food dish.
~ Andy
If somebody ask you to marry them,
the polite thing to do is marry them back.
~ Andy
(Talking about Barney while
Barn was trying to set Ange up with a new girl)
Whatever I did to deserve all this attention from him,
I ain't never gonna' do it again.
~ Andy
Barney: You wanna be taken over by women?
Andy: I wouldn't mind
~ Barney & Andy
When his time comes he aint gonna go like other people,
he just gonna nasty away.
~ Andy
That's a fine system you got there Barney.
You ought to write a book on it - call it
"The Barney Fife Subconscious Prober Primer."
~ Andy
You beat anything, Barney, you know that? You beat anything!
~ Andy
Barney: I don't look too Ivy League do I?
Andy: Oh, no ... you're in a league all by yourself.
~ Barney & Andy
Oh, you're funny, aren't you!?
You ought to get a cane and cigar and work at a carnival!!
~ Barney
You just wanna rile me so you can see that vein stick out in my neck!
You like that don't you!
~ Barney
You know Andy, there's no better feeling
than knowing you were perfect.
~ Barney
Fly away buzzard, fly away crow,
way down south where the winds don't blow,
rub your nose & give two winks
& save us from this awful jinx
~ Barney
My mother, your mother, lives across the way.
Every night, they have a fight and this is what they say:
Icka backa, soda cracker, icak backa boo,
icka backa soda cracker, out goes you!
~ Barney (Jumping Rope)
(Postcard from Barney,on vacation in Raleigh)
Having fun,but money sure doesn't last long.
Been here three days and already have gone through $10! ~ Barney
You got to understand this is a small town.
The sheriff is more than just a sheriff-he's a friend.
And people in this town,
they ain't got a better friend than Andy Taylor!
~ Barney
I'm a deadly weapon.
~ Barney
Well ... it ain't a whim anymore
if you put on clean underwear.
~ Barney
I don't know, ya try, and ya try, and ya try,
and what do ya get HEARTACHES ~ Barney
One thing about Gypsies though, they're moody!
~ Barney
Nip it. Nip it. Nip it in the bud.
~ Barney
Nothin but dogs Andy,
why, if you flew a quail through here
every woman in here'd point. ~ Barney
 A penny hit by lightnin' is worth six cents.
~ Opie
Barney: Where you goin'?
Opie: I'm leavin'. You're a sight.
~ Opie
Opie: Pa what are we having for supper?
Andy: You and Aunt Bee are having fried chicken,
and I'm having crow.
~ Opie & Andy
Past the hand holding stage and ready to set the date.
~ Aunt Bee
Oh, fibbertigibbet!
~ Aunt Bee
(trying to calm Aunt Bee after she sees the broken rose)
Now remember Aunt Bee,
we've still got our money and pep,
and lots of good weather ahead!
~ Andy
Put that in your soda and sip it!
~ Miss Ellie
It's just a haircut, it isn't a brain operation
~ Floyd
Floyd: Love just happens. Two people just fall together.
Andy: What do you know about love!?
Floyd: What do I know?!! What ... about ... Lov ...
You can't cut hair for 30 years without learning SOMETHING!!
~ Andy & Floyd
Andy, take that thing away from him before he kills us all!!
~ Otis
Andy: Otis, you feel up to face the world?
Otis: Yeah, but I don't know if the world is up to facing me!
~ Andy & Otis
Barney: He got the drop on me!
Andy: He had a gun?
Barney: Well, he has now!
~ Andy/Barney
during our lifetime we travel many roads some
big roads some little roads rocky roads and
smooth roads dirt highways and improved highways
~ Barney to Gomer
Miss Bee, three cuts of pie is my high water mark.
~ Briscoe Darlin
Gomer: You might be mashin' down too hard
on your acceleration, an' floodin' 'er out.
Barney: I'll handle this Gomer.
Thelma Lou: I think Gomer's right, I smell gas.
Do you smell gas, Andy?
Andy: I smell gas.
Opie: I smell gas.
Gomer: I smell gas.
Aunt Bee: I smell gas too.
Barney: ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!
You smell gas! Of COURSE you smell gas!
What do you think this car runs on, COAL?
~ Barney's new car
Remembering Simpler Times
The Andy Griffith Show debuted at 9:30 on the evening of Monday, October 3, 1960, and ran for 249 episodes, 90 of which were color. Its spin-off episode was on The Danny Thomas Show where Danny was arrested by a sheriff in a small town in North Carolina. The Andy Griffith Show has not been off the air since it went into syndication a quarter of a century ago.
Mayberry Trivia
Number of times Barney wore a dress: 3.
Number of times Barney accidentally fired his pistol: 8. 3 into courthouse floor, 1 into courthouse ceiling, 2 into the air, 1 into Andy's front porch, and 1 into a tire on a squad car.
Number of panes of glass and/or windows broken by someone: 23.
Percentage of that glass broken by Ernest T. Bass: 78%.
Things wrong with the car Barney bought from "Hubcaps" Lesh for $297.50: plugs, points, bearings, valves, rings, fuel pump, starter switch, ignition wires, water pump, oil pump, clutch, clutch bearings, clutchplate, brake lining, brake shoes, radiator hose cover, sawdust in the transmission. And it could stand a good wash.
Number of stoplights in Mayberry: 1.
Number of miles on Aunt Bee's car: 145,000.
Number of steps up to the Taylors' front porch: 2.
Number of steps up to the church (which isn't air-conditioned): 6.
Number of jars of Miracle Salve delivered to Andy's house: 946.
The squad car is a Ford Galaxie.
Visiting hours at the jail are from 2:00 PM to 4:00 PM.
Andy doesn't own a lawn mower - he borrows one from his neighbors, the Wilsons.
Barney once frisked his mother at a roadblock. This is the only time she appeared on the show. She had one line: "But Barney, I'm your mother!"
Barney bought his parents a concrete, steel-reinforced septic tank for their anniversary one year.
Andy and Barney are cousins (sometimes anyway).
Barney's landlady is Mrs. Mendelbright (pronounced "Mrs. BrendelMright"by Barney once when he was gassed).
Barney the realtor thinks he can sell the Taylors' house for $24,000.
The bank vault has a back door (the real door hadn't been opened in 15 years because they lost the combination and the company that made it went out of business, although a crook once opened the door).
Barney was the town band's standby cymbalist (they had no regular cymbalist).
Aunt Bee wears glasses when she does sewing and stuff.
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