Gracious ... I have been so distracted. I meant to follow up with my story before now, but life has been so full! I got this email the other day and couldn't help but smile ...
Growing Pains Difficult Times
It can be very challenging to maintain a positive attitude and a measure of faith when you are in the midst of difficult times. This is partly because we tend to think that if the universe loves us we will experience that love in the form of positive circumstances. However, we are like children, and the universe is our wise mother who knows what our souls need to thrive better than we do. Just as a young child does not benefit from getting everything she wants, we also benefit from times of constriction and difficulty to help us grow and learn. If we keep this in mind, and continue to trust that we are loved even when things are hard, it helps us bear the difficult time with grace.
This period of time in history is full of difficulty for a lot of human beings, and you may feel less alone knowing you are not being singled out. There are extreme energy changes pulsing through the universe at every level and, of course, we are all part of the growing process and the growing pains. It helps if we remember that life is one phase after another and that this difficult time will inevitably give way to something new and different. When we feel overwhelmed we can comfort ourselves with the wise saying: This too shall pass.
At the same time, if you truly feel that nothing is going right for you, it’s never a bad idea to examine your life and see if there are some changes you can make to alleviate some of the difficulty. Gently and compassionately exploring the areas giving you the most trouble may reveal things you are holding onto and need to release: unprocessed emotions, unresolved transitions, or negative ways of looking at yourself or reality. As you take responsibility for the things you can change, you can more easily surrender to the things you can't, remembering all the while that this phase will, without doubt, give way to another.
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I guess "class" is continuing. More and more, I feel like my life is a "never-ending classroom", where movies and books and conversations fit together in the sweetest way.
The trip home was a little sad, of course, but the time with family and friends was good. I was reminded of the things I love about my family.
I did see some things that I had hoped would have changed by now, but I looked at them in a different way than I used to, in a "that's the way things are for now kinda way", passing by them the same way we pass by any work in progress, because I am a work in progress too!
It was good to see all my cousins and second cousins and all the children. We filed into the family section of the church and filled half the church! My grandmother would have been so pleased and so excited to see us all. I could almost imagine her, my grandpa and great aunts and uncles looking down and commenting on us, "Doesn't she look nice?" or "Look at his family" or "Aren't they a cute couple?" ... Of course, it's sad when any one of us leaves but it was a comfort to know that so many of us still remain.
In between all the visiting and winter wonderland adventures, there were some really precious moments ...
MOVIES
My five sisters and I went to see the movie, "P.S. I LOVE YOU" ... It was a fun, light-hearted movie about the loss of a love and moving beyond that love to love again ...
That same week, we also went to see "THE BUCKET LIST", another good movie, again about coming to terms with death by doing all the things we need/want/hope to do before we die.
I wasn't picking the movies. I was along for the ride and happy to spend time with my family. I did think it was interesting that so many thoughts on death were coming to us.
We watched a lot of movies tucked inside, all cozy and warm, away from the Minnesota cold. My favorite movie of all was "THE ULTIMATE GIFT". It told the story of a wealthy man who had looked for a way to pass his wealth along to his grandson without ruining his grandson's life. He gave his grandson several gifts or assignments, in the hopes that his grandson would become the kind of man who could handle wealth. Even if we don't have that kind of wealth, the gifts are gifts we can share with our own loved ones ... the gift of WORK, the value of MONEY, the gift of FRIENDS, the gift of LEARNING, the gift of FAMILY, the gift of PROBLEMS, the gift of LAUGHTER, the gift of DREAMS, the gift of GIVING, the gift of GRATITUDE, the gift of one DAY and the gift of LOVE ...
Some movies just stick with me ... and maybe, this one would stick with you too?
There were a few lines from the movie that stayed with me ...
"You don't begin to live until you have lost everything. I've lost everything 3-4 times, and I have found that it's the best place to start!" I've never lost everything, but I embrace the idea that if I ever do, nothing and nowhere are good starting places.
... and ...
"Your journey might be long or short but your journey starts exactly where you are now." I suppose I liked this one because so many times, I have put off doing something because I needed to do this or buy that or accomplish this before I could get started. Some ideas are already underway when we think of them! The journey already had started whether we were ready or not! Sometimes, we can look back and see that we were already being prepared for that journey before we even realized it!
The first was another Nicolas Sparks novel. I really like the way he writes.
The Choice by Nicholas Sparks
Description: Travis Parker has everything a man could want: a good job, loyal friends, even a waterfront home in small-town North Carolina. In full pursuit of the good life -- boating, swimming, and regular barbecues with his good-natured buddies -- he holds the vague conviction that a serious relationship with a woman would only cramp his style. That is, until Gabby Holland moves in next door. Despite his attempts to be neighborly, the appealing redhead seems to have a chip on her shoulder about him...and the presence of her longtime boyfriend doesn't help. Despite himself, Travis can't stop trying to ingratiate himself with his new neighbor, and his persistent efforts lead them both to the doorstep of a journey that neither could have foreseen. Spanning the eventful years of young love, marriage and family, The Choice ultimately confronts us with the most heart wrenching question of all: how far would you go to keep the hope of love alive?
The second was about something very close to my heart ... abused children. This author was new to me, but I like the way she researched her story. The name of the book was PERFECT MATCH by Jodi Picoult
Description: What happens when you do all the right things for all the wrong reasons? As an assistant district attorney in York County, Maine, Nina Frost prosecutes the sort of crimes that tear families apart. She helps clients navigate their way through a nightmare – even though the legal system is not always the faultless compass they want and need it to be. She learns that the easiest way to cross this devastating minefield time and time again is to offer compassion, battle fiercely for justice, and keep her emotional distance.
But when Nina and her husband Caleb discover that their five-year-old son Nathaniel has been sexually abused, that distance is impossible to maintain. The world Nina inhabits now seems different from the one she lived in yesterday; the lines between family and professional life are erased; and answers to questions she thought she knew are no longer easy to find. Overcome by anger and desperate for vengeance, Nina ignites a battle that may cause her to lose the very thing she's fighting for.
Both books were about choices ... interesting because I was already thinking about where our choices had taken me and my nine brothers and sisters.
It is one of the blessings of living far away. I miss out on their everyday, but I get the most beautiful, vivid snapshots of their lives, the sum total of all those everyday choices and where they have lead.
I suppose they see me in the same way. I'm not sure what they see. It's more likely that they see themselves in me, whatever that might mean.
Sometimes people say things that cause me to pause ...
My cousin pulled me aside to say, "You made a difference in my life. When other people teased me, you stuck up for me. You were my voice when I didn't have a voice. I will never forget you for that."
I asked my niece about her older sister and her answer surprised me, "She is like you. She wants other people to be happy and she'll do anything, even if it hurts herself, to help other people because you both make things better."
My sister went shopping with me and after watching me have several conversations with strangers, she said, "You are so easy to talk to. Even strangers can see it! That is such a gift. You brighten lives!"
My Uncle said, "You make a difference, no matter where you are. People like you."
Blessings ... every single kind word ...
I'm getting older. I watched my aunts and uncles and I also saw how their support of one another gave them strength. I have lived most of my life away from my family. I had places I wanted to go and things I wanted to do and none of them were in Minnesota!
I felt the support of my family and I watched my family support one another.
One night when almost everyone else was busy, my brother and I watched a movie at his house. I hadn't talked to my brother in years, but for whatever reason, he started talking about his business. I imagine he was surprised as I was to hear how much we both have learned about business and people. I admired his attitude ... lol ... I suppose because he is as hopeful as I am.
I silently wished that Joey could have been there too. He and my brother would be good friends, if they ever really had the time ...
So there it is ... all my thoughts and "class notes" ... and still ... class continues ...
Even though I went home for a funeral and there were tears and sorrow, there was laughter and joy too. My immediate and extended family would provide quite a cast of characters to any book, play or movie. I don't mean to disparage them in any way. I love them all ... the really eccentric ones best! At the wake and funeral, we exchanged stories about growing up in our family, life on the farm, life in Northern Minnesota, past characters, tales and legends. I'm not sure that everything we remember could have even happened quite that way, but like all good stories that are passed down through families, it never really pays to let too much truth get in the way of a really good tale.
I listened, shared and laughed until I couldn't listen, share and laugh any more.
I hadn't been on a snowmobile in years, but handling a snowmobile is like riding a bike, I suppose. We never really forget. It was fun! I wasn't the least bit cold with all the gear, including the face mask and helmet. The snowmobiles even have hand warmers now! The trails were packed down and a little bumpy. My niece and I rode through the country to my folks ... it may sound cliche, but we really did ride over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house ... where we played in the drifts. In fresh snow, it's important to keep moving so you don't get bogged down and stuck. It's also nice if you can zig or zag with the hills that are under the drifts, which is easy enough if you just stay loose and leave yourself lots of room. It was a blast! I was happy that I didn't get stuck in the snow and that I could keep up with the pack.
I love the way snow looks. I like the stark contrast and the long shadows of winter. Minnesota has the prettiest sunrises and sunsets because there is so much sky! It really was a winter wonderland.
There were several shopping trips with this sister or that sister-in-law. The shops there have different offerings than the shops in the South. I like the "lodge look". I like the hand made quilts and soft throws and scarves and mittens and sweaters and vests. They all said, "WARM" in the toastiest way! I loved the blown glass and pottery, decorated with berries, birds and pine trees. I tried to be selective, but I still ended up shipping two big boxes back.
My brother called the things we bought, "our treasures". He added to my "treasures" by making me a Norwegian Moonstone paperweight. He makes marble and granite countertops as a hobby and he shaved and beveled a piece of marble that I really liked.
It was like Christmas! Two of my sisters made a necklace with my grandchildren's pictures. My Mom knitted me a scarf, perfect for Valentine's Day, in different shades of red. My sister-in-law even made me her specialty, lemon meringue pie.
That reminds me. I was surrounded by GOOD FOOD! Fresh Walleye, Home-grown Buffalo and Beef, Mom's Chili, Mary's Spaghetti, Homemade Bread, Dark Breads, Home-made Jellies & Jams, Pickled Herring, Fresh Cinnamon Rolls, Fellowship Tea ... I don't think I had one thing that wasn't absolutely delicious the whole time I was there!
Of course, you know how it is with me ... I view my whole life as continuing education and I learned some neat things on this trip. We'll talk about those tomorrow.
Today, sit down with me and have some coffee and a slice of pie and let me show you some pictures of the tunnel in the Detroit Airport! Twice Northwest tried to route me through Memphis and at the last minute, they rerouted me through Detroit. I'm SO GLAD they did!
P.S. Thank You Mouse! You are my computer go-to gal!
Isn't it cool? It felt like walking through Northern Lights! Talk to you tomorrow!
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