What Women Really Mean When They Say ...


Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right
and you need to shut up.


Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.


Nothing
This is the calm before the storm.
This means something, and you should be on your toes.
Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.


Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!


Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men.
A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)


That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding
how and when you will pay for your mistake.


Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint.
Just say you're welcome.


Whatever
Is a woman's way of saying __ YOU!


Don't worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something
that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?"
For the woman's response refer to #3.




Send this to the men you know,
to help them avoid future arguments
simply by learning the terminology!



Just for fun ...
Do you have any "definitions" you would add?

Whit's comment was just too good
not to add to this post!

Whit's Whittlings by Whit's Whittlings
was kind enough to share the "guy code"!


What Men Really Mean When They Say

"I'm going fishing."
--- Really means ---
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."


"Let's take your car."
--- Really means ---
"Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas."


"Woman driver."
--- Really means ---
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."


"I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."
--- Really means ---
"As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."


"It's a guy thing."
--- Really means ---
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."


"Can I help with dinner?"
--- Really means ---
"Why isn't it already on the table?"


"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
--- Really mean ---
Absolutely nothing. They're a conditioned response
like Pavlov's dog drooling.


"Good idea."
--- Really means ---
"It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."


"Have you lost weight?"
--- Really means ---
"I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."


"My wife doesn't understand me."
--- Really means ---
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."


"It would take too long to explain."
--- Really means ---
"I have no idea how it works."


"I'm getting more exercise lately."
--- Really means ---
"The batteries in the remote are dead."


"I got a lot done."
--- Really means ---
"I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."


"We're going to be late."
--- Really means ---
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."


"Hey, I've read all the classics."
--- Really means ---
"I've been subscribing to Playboy since 1972."


"You cook just like my mother used to."
--- Really means ---
"She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."


"I was listening to you.
It's just that I have things on my mind."
--- Really means ---
"I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra."


"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
--- Really means ---
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."


"That's interesting, dear."
--- Really means ---
"Are you still talking?"


"Honey, we don't need material things
to prove our love."
--- Really means ---
"I forgot our anniversary again."


"You expect too much of me."
--- Really means ---
"You want me to stay awake."


"It's a really good movie."
--- Really means ---
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear."


"That's women's work."
--- Really means ---
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."


"Will you marry me?"
--- Really means ---
"Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer,
and there is no more peanut butter."


"Go ask your mother."
--- Really means ---
"I am incapable of making a decision."


"You know how bad my memory is."
--- Really means ---
"I remember the theme song to 'F-Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."


"I was just thinking about you,
and got you these roses."
--- Really means ---
"The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."


"Football is a man's game."
--- Really means ---
"Women are generally too smart to play it."


"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
--- Really means ---
"I have actually severed a limb,
but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."


"I do help around the house."
--- Really means ---
"I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."


"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
--- Really means ---
"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."


"I can't find it."
--- Really means ---
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands,
so I'm completely clueless."


"What did I do this time?"
--- Really means ---
"What did you catch me at?"


"What do you mean, you need new clothes?"
--- Really means ---
"You just bought new clothes 3 years ago."


"She's one of those rabid feminists."
--- Really means ---
"She refused to make my coffee."


"But I hate to go shopping."
--- Really means ---
"Because I always wind up outside the dressing room holding your purse."


"No, I left plenty of gas in the car."
--- Really means ---
"You may actually get it to start."


"I'm going to stop off for a quick one
with the guys."
--- Really means ---
"I am planning on drinking myself into a vegetative stupor with my chest pounding, mouth breathing, pre-evolutionary companions."


"I heard you."
--- Really means ---
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."


"You know I could never love anyone else."
--- Really means ---
"I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."


"You look terrific."
--- Really means ---
"Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."


"I brought you a present."
--- Really means ---
"It was 'free ice scraper' night at the ball game."


"I missed you."
--- Really means ---
"I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry
and we are out of toilet paper."


"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
--- Really means ---
"No one will ever see us alive again."


"We share the housework."
--- Really means ---
"I make the messes, she cleans them up."


"This relationship is getting too serious."
--- Really means ---
"I like you more than my truck."


"I recycle."
--- Really means ---
"We could pay the rent with the money from my empties."


"Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful."
--- Really means ---
"Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?"


"It sure snowed last night."
--- Really means ---
"I suppose you're going to nag me about shoveling the walk now."


"It's good beer."
--- Really means ---
"It was on sale."


"I don't need to read the instructions."
--- Really means ---
"I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."


"I'll fix the garbage disposal later."
--- Really means ---
"If I wait long enough you'll get frustrated and buy a new one."


"I broke up with her."
--- Really means ---
"She dumped me."


"I'll take you to a fancy restaurant."
--- Really means ---
"Someplace that doesn't have a drive-thru window."


Send this to the women you know,
to help them avoid future misunderstandings
simply by learning the code !!!



Just for fun ...
Do you have any "definitions" you would add
to either "secret" language?

It can be so easy to get caught up in the rigors of modern life that we tend to forget that happiness need not come with stipulations. Happiness becomes something we must schedule and strive for—a hard-won emotion—and then only when we have no worries to occupy our thoughts. In reality, overwhelming joy is not the exclusive province of those with unlimited time and no troubles to speak of. Many of the happiest people on earth are also those coping with the most serious challenges. They have learned to make time for those simple yet superb pleasures that can be enjoyed quickly and easily. Cultivating a happy heart takes no more than five minutes. The resultant delight will be neither complex nor complicated, but it will be profound and will serve as a reminder that there is always a reason to smile.

So much that is ecstasy-inducing can be accomplished in five minutes. Alone, we can enjoy an aromatic cup of our favorite tea, take a stroll through the garden we have created, write about the day's events in a journal, doodle while daydreaming, or breathe deeply while we listen to the silence around us. In the company of a good friend or treasured relative, we can share a few silly jokes, enjoy a waltz around the room, play a fast-paced hand of cards, or reconnect through lighthearted conversation. The key is to first identify what makes us dizzyingly happy. If we do only what we believe should bring us contentment, our five minutes will not be particularly satisfying. When we allow ourselves the freedom to do whatever brings us pleasure, five minutes out of 14 wakeful hours can brighten our lives immeasurably.

It is often when we have the least free time or energy to devote to joy that we need to unwind and enjoy ourselves the most. Making happiness a priority will help you find five minutes every day to indulge in the things that inspire elation within you. Eventually, your happiness breaks will become an established part of your routine. If you start by pursuing activities you already enjoy and then gradually think up new and different ways to fill your daily five minutes of happiness, you will never be without something to smile about.

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Sounds GOOD to me!

There are some who can't ever imagine being OLD,
Some who have been old their whole life,
People who are certainly old before their time,
And those who will never have a chance to be old ...

In my life,
OLDER is BETTER !!!





Thoughts On Living The Good Life

50.
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.


(  10, 11, 13, 15, 21, 23, 33, 35, 39, 43 and 45
stand out to me today.
Which ones speak to you?  )





Blogstream Birthdays !!!

If you get a chance, follow the links to make someone's day!
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Jul 23 to Aug 22

July 24 - Like My Feelings Are Observed by Citizen Zane

July 24 - The Little Black Book by Anthony Casimire 


July 27 -  My way to vent. by Hetzie

July 29 - Crusty Middle-aged Woman by Deby D


July 29 - young broke and republican by r.e.knowltoniii

July 30 - Life Happens When You're Not Lookin by Midnight43

 

July 31 - Writings by Gezunda

Aug 1 - Second Chances by Coloconnect

 

Aug 1 - T Zone by Doria

Aug 3 - SEVEN IS WHAT? by Seven Is Darker

 

Aug 4 - Marriage and a Baby by Stephanie

 

Aug 6 - Overlooking Orlando by T-Con

 

August 11 - Pagans don't wear sandals! by joesblog6 

 

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Aug 14 - I'm not smart just determined by Truth Seeker

Aug 22 - What Would You Do? by Adam_Warlock_2099

 

Extra !!!  Special Announcement !!!

Michigan Has A New Lawyer!

The Restoration of ME by MaryElizabeth 

"The good news, oh yeah, I'm an ATTORNEY again.
The state Oked my application to become a member of the bar
and I was sworn on Thursday, July 5th, which will forever
be my own personal independence day!!!"

Congratulations MaryElizabeth !!!