front to back: my youngest, my oldest daughter,
my third daughter and my second daughter
I love my kids. Period.
If you were to meet them separately, you might not even know that they are even related. There might be some family resemblance ... perhaps in their eyes ... There is kindness and intelligence there. But they are individuals. I don't know how I raised four such different people but I am glad they turned out the way they did!
My oldest is the most traditional. She is dependable, responsible and conservative. She has always had a plan and sees it through, no matter what. She is a perfectionist when it comes to her own achievements. It was never enough to gets As. She had to get ALL As. As much as she loves order and rules, she has a heart that embraces those who can't always follow such a narrow path. She is and always has been a teacher. She inspires, encourages and truly hurts for her students. She teaches in a high risk school and is one of those teachers who tells it like it is. She considers teaching a calling and she is determined to make a difference to as many kids as she can. In her home, she is practical and likes things straight, neat and tidy. She does have a Victorian flare ... accenting with lace, candle light and Monet-like watercolors. She is a strict, but fair Mom. I love to bring more fun to her life every chance I get.
My second is my wild child. She tends to follow her own course, making it up as she goes along. Her rules are not so obvious as my oldest, but she does have them, in a golden rule kind of way. She doesn't spend very much time judging herself or others and because of that, my other kids turn to her for advice. She is and always has been a counselor. She will offer insight when asked, and her instincts are usually very good. She has rheumatoid arthritis and while it sometimes effects her stamina, she has never let it stop her from doing the things she wanted to do. I remember the day she was diagnosed - The Dr. said she may end up in a wheel chair one day. I cried on the way home and she said, "Mom, it's good that it's me and not any of the other kids because I can make this work." She has. In her home, she is eclectic and artistic. She likes Monet also, but she mixes it with crystal and fountains. She likes color and comfort. She is a lenient and generous Mom. I love to lend strength to her every chance I get.
My third child is a performer. She is a choreographer, a dancer, a bohemian - a rose colored glasses kind of girl. She will be 100% behind an idea or direction, and one day, she'll make a 180-degree turn and follow another path, just as exciting. She thinks life is BEAUTIFUL. She is and always has been a missionary. She has a strong faith and believes that faith is something we do ... not something we have. She has tested my own faith many times. She isn't doing any outreach that I wouldn't do, but offering help and going into scary situations feels very different when it's me and when it's my child. She has often said ... If God sends me, He'll protect me ... and ... my retort is always, "True, but be very sure that God is sending you!" In her home, she likes pictures of her friends and places she has been with exotic souvenirs - reminders of where she has been and to reach even higher and stretch further next time. She may never have children of her own. I love offering "some balance to her high wire act" every chance I get.
My fourth child is a dreamer and a searcher. He asks the most questions. He always has a plan or an idea that he is working on and he researches everything, although he can get so lost in the details, he ends up doing nothing. When he does commit to something, he is fearless and has often thrown caution to the wind. He has been a Christian, a Jew, a Buddhist and a dozen other things between ... which irritates my oldest, amuses my second and worries my third. I notice that all his wonderings and wanderings have made him a good judge of people because chances are he has been where most people are at one time or another in his life. He is a teacher now, but he gets irritated with the educational system and tells me about things that he thinks would work better. I think one day, he will want to change the system, and if anyone can, he can. He is an attentive and playful Dad. I love being his sounding board every chance I get.
Being a Mom has meant being something different to all four of my kids. The teen years were hard on all of them, and me too! My oldest daughter was in everything in school - a high achiever, a cheerleader, an athlete and an A student. My second daughter was an under-achiever, a rebel who questioned every authority figure in her life. My third daughter was fearful, emotional and euphoric, all within 10 minutes, 24/7. My son had to check out EVERYTHING, no matter what the consequences!
I think my oldest daughter would have liked more praise, even though she never accepted the praise she got. I think my second daughter was determined to live as much life as she could before she ended up in that "future wheelchair" (which by the way, never happened - thank God!). I think my third daughter felt insecure and precarious most of the time. Then and now, I wish I could keep her safe.
My son's teenage antics are family legends and epic tales today. He climbed a twenty foot statue at the Capitol Building once because he had never ridden a horse. He walked across the top of a bridge support on a dare. Safety net? He got hit by a truck while he was on roller blades, was thrown into a cement ditch and landed on his head, only to have his grades improve! Who needs a helmet? He climbed a 60-foot rock wall without ropes. Who needs ropes? He used to jump off the roof, grab a young tree that would bend and place him on the ground. Who needs a ladder? He got on a radio once and started talking to commercial jets about where they were going. What's wrong with that?
A friend once told me that every kid takes a trip over fool's hill ... Some just pitch a tent and stay a while ...
Nothing could have prepared me for motherhood and I wouldn't trade the experience for all the riches in the world. I got to be there to watch four of the brightest stars in my sky!
